One of the hardest concepts to digest when you move away from home is that all of your friends and family continue on with their life without you. Maybe I sound a little on the selfish side, but it's really a weird thing. Since we have been in Arizona I feel like our family has been in a holding pattern. We are trying to find a church, we are waiting to make friends, we are looking for a new favorite restaurant, we have to really try to make plans for the weekend, and our nights are filled with just us. We went from playdates, church functions, family functions, girls night out and boys poker night to nothing. The long and short of it is that we are bored and a little restless.
This past weekend was especially hard because one of my family members passed away and I couldn't be there with my family. We are a one income family with limited financial resources so hopping on a plane was not an option. My husband couldn't take off work because of his employees vacation schedule, and I can't make the 15 hour drive with my two young children by myself. It was heartbreaking to not be able to be there to support my family members when they are in need, but there is nothing I could do about it. Instead we drove around the city trying to find cool new places and went to a children's museum. We had fun, but our heads and hearts weren't here.
Another thing that is truly weird is to get on Facebook and see pictures and posts of your friends having fun without you. There was a baby shower and a birthday dinner that I missed this weekend. My oldest niece is home from her first summer semester of college and my youngest niece had her first varsity volleyball game and all I get to see is a few pictures, hopefully. My grandfather was recently in a hospital due to a stroke, and I couldn't visit him.
I know that I am still connected to everyone in a way, but it's so weird to feel so much on the outside of things. I still have a lot of hope that I will make some new friends here and we will get settled in a church that we love, but like I said, life goes one for everyone with or without us involved.