Try, Try Again...

The most difficult part of this move came in the way of my four year old son. One afternoon he approached me with tears in his big blue eyes, and asked me if I could go find him some friends. One word, heartbreaking.

I told my sweet boy that I would do the best I could to find him some friends, and I have now been on a mission. I posted a group play date invitation for older kids that still are not in school on our neighborhood's Yahoo! group page. I got a really good response and I was so excited that I had to tell my boy that Mommy was doing a really good job at trying to find some friends. I made a date for a playgroup and volunteered my home for everyone to meet at. This in and of itself is way out of my comfort zone. I don't really relish the idea of people I have never met coming to my house to spend a couple of hours and play with all the toys. However, it was for the greater good.

The day of the playgroup arrived and we were psyched! The floors were clean and the toys were organized. I made sure we had snacks for the kids and extra sidewalk chalk at the ready. We were expecting people to start arriving at 10:30. Time ticked slowly and by 10:50 I realized nobody was coming. I was livid! I know I can't take the no shows personally because I have never met these moms and kids, but the sting was still sharp. Now, I had to figure out how to break the news to my son while he was watching for his "new friends" out our living room window.

I made a quick call to my husband (who was incidentally way more upset than me)to get some advice on how to break it to our boy. I decided to act like it wasn't a big deal and then tell him we were picking daddy up for lunch and then going to the library to get more movies and books! After delivering the news with as much perk as I could he just looked at me and said, "Why does nobody in Arizona want to be my friend? All the kids are rude here." And that was how my heart officially broke.

We still had a good day, despite our initial let down, and I have decided that despite my disappointment I am going to try to schedule a neighborhood play date one more time. I am doing this for my little boy, who desperately wants someone to play with, because if it were up to me I would not respond with grace and another play date invitation. I just hope that it will turn out better this time, otherwise I will have to move to another plan.

Life Goes On...

One of the hardest concepts to digest when you move away from home is that all of your friends and family continue on with their life without you. Maybe I sound a little on the selfish side, but it's really a weird thing. Since we have been in Arizona I feel like our family has been in a holding pattern. We are trying to find a church, we are waiting to make friends, we are looking for a new favorite restaurant, we have to really try to make plans for the weekend, and our nights are filled with just us. We went from playdates, church functions, family functions, girls night out and boys poker night to nothing. The long and short of it is that we are bored and a little restless.

This past weekend was especially hard because one of my family members passed away and I couldn't be there with my family. We are a one income family with limited financial resources so hopping on a plane was not an option. My husband couldn't take off work because of his employees vacation schedule, and I can't make the 15 hour drive with my two young children by myself. It was heartbreaking to not be able to be there to support my family members when they are in need, but there is nothing I could do about it. Instead we drove around the city trying to find cool new places and went to a children's museum. We had fun, but our heads and hearts weren't here.

Another thing that is truly weird is to get on Facebook and see pictures and posts of your friends having fun without you. There was a baby shower and a birthday dinner that I missed this weekend. My oldest niece is home from her first summer semester of college and my youngest niece had her first varsity volleyball game and all I get to see is a few pictures, hopefully. My grandfather was recently in a hospital due to a stroke, and I couldn't visit him.

I know that I am still connected to everyone in a way, but it's so weird to feel so much on the outside of things. I still have a lot of hope that I will make some new friends here and we will get settled in a church that we love, but like I said, life goes one for everyone with or without us involved.

Season of Changes

The idea of moving away has always been something that has excited me. As a young girl I used to dream of going to a boarding school in France, and then moving to New York after I graduated high school. I never did those things and the furthest I made it from home was about 300 miles, but the sense of adventure has always stayed with me. So, when I learned my husband was being relocated to Arizona I experienced the normal range of emotions from fear to elation at the idea of living somewhere I have never even visited.

I am now a few months into our move. I have settled in our new home for the most part, and I am developing a new routine for my days with my two young sons. It has been difficult in ways I didn't expect, and beneficial in ways I couldn't have predicted. My husband has suggested that I find a creative outlet, and I feel that I may need an emotional outlet, so I have decided to blog about the changes that I am facing both good and bad.

Whether anyone will read this, I don't know, but maybe there will be someone who might be able to relate to, commiserate with, or encourage me while I go through this new season of changes.